I love vampires, but I don’t enjoy a lot of vampire media. I think I’m too picky, and none of it portrays vampires exactly the way I like them. Guess I’ll just have to write a bunch of my own. Oh, dear. How sad for me.
Friends don’t let friends go hungry.
Something’s gotta give.
Going down to Wally World.
Anyone who tells you you can’t science your way out of every bad situation simply isn’t trying hard enough.
The way you’re supposed to be.
No progress without pain.
In any experiment, there will always be trial and error. And sacrifice.
Those with the best ideas are often accused of madness.
The all mighty algorithm knows what you want better than you do.
So, your new friend just shoved you off a roof so you’d miss the sun and you landed on your neck and now you’re stuck in a motel storage room. Now what?
It’s not French bread pizza and beer, unfortunately.
They had a plan. It was a good plan. Not quite good enough.
Last weekend sucked for Dexter. This weekend doesn’t look any better.
Sir Lord Reginald Thwarpington Ramsbottom the third, lately of Hillshropshireforthdanwidthtonvillebourguponavon, was enjoying his morning rather leisurely. He had awoken in his giant bed and rolled over thrice to get to the edge and then gotten caught in the curtains, made of the very finest damask. Once he was able to cut himself down he put…
It was so bright out by the time Honey busted through the door onto the motel roof she thought he was already dead. “Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck,” she muttered to herself, scanning. She had gotten turned around on her way up. Which way was east? The sky in the direction she was facing…
He met her at a bar a block away from his new apartment, the apartment where most of his stuff was still in boxes and maybe still was in boxes if not just tossed away or set on fire or sold off, not that he owned anything worth selling. It was a bar a block…
Victor stepped out of the town car, smoothed the lines of his suit, and signaled the driver to go. In front of him was a single block of Maple Hill Street. There was nothing special about Maple Hill. That was the point. It was just your average block of homes in your average suburb. This…
The year is 1721, it is a bone-frigid winter night, and a boat from Europe has just docked in Boston Harbor. This, of course, is nothing so strange. Every winter night in Boston is the coldest a person has ever been, and the coldest they will ever be. Until the next night. And boats now…
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