Video Journal of a Mad Woman: Entry 6

Entry 5

Private YouTube video titled Journal Entry 6, uploaded by user Michelle1980 on October 15th, 2015.

Michelle is no longer in the barn. Instead, behind her, is another dark room lit only by an electric camping lantern sitting on the table next to the camera.

Michelle sits in front of the camera, filling up most of the screen. Her face is noticeably paler. Her eyes appear black but that may be from her pupils being dilated. She is once again wearing her Guardian’s of the Galaxy t-shirt. Her hair is pulled back.

Once she has the camera the way she wants it, she sits back and gives the camera a little wave.

Okay, so…I did it!

She claps her hands a few times rapidly. Almost too fast for the camera to fully catch. With effort, she manages to calm down and straighten her face.

I’m noticing that I’m having a harder time regulating my emotions. Like, huge moods swings. Makes PMS feel like smooth sailing. But I’m aware of it, and that’s half the battle. I just need to master them.

Michelle giggles.

You may notice I’m in a different location. I was never going to stay in the barn. It didn’t have enough space for me to try stuff out. Plus…well…

I really didn’t plan to kill Priya. She was a vampire and a killer, but I’m a hunter. Better than that. Hunters keep their word, and I told her if she turned me I wouldn’t. But then…then those lies. It took me a few minutes to realize that’s what she was doing. She was really convincing, watch the last video if you don’t believe me. I was new to this. Barely awake. I could barely think. So of course she starts painting this sad picture of a totally normal life ripped away from her. Christ, to think I was buying it for so long. But that was just the transition. That’s all. I would have caught on sooner if my brains wasn’t still mush.

Anyway, eventually I woke up fully and realized she was lying. She had to be. It didn’t make any sense. It doesn’t fit with what we know about vampires. And all that lying…like I said, my emotions have been all over the place. She didn’t see me coming. I didn’t see me coming.

She giggles again before forcing herself to be serious.

I’m sorry, I’m just in a really good mood right now and it’s hard to regulate. Anyway, check out my new digs.

Michelle gestures around, but the room around her is too dark to make anything out. She doesn’t seem to notice.

This is the abandoned Christmas Lodge in…I don’t remember, somewhere in Montana. In the mountains. Montana. Mountains. Huh. I wonder if that’s related.

Anyway. Yellowstone isn’t too far south. There was some rock slide or avalanche or something and it fucked up the way up here and it was too expensive to fix so the place is just sitting, empty. Lots of those geocachers come up here, I think. There’s graffiti on the walls, anyway. But it doesn’t look like anyone has been up here in a while. And if they come, I think I can scare them off. Oh, yeah, watch this.

Michelle bares her teeth in a grin bordering on grotesque. For a few seconds she only sits there, grinning, eyes blank. Then she squints. Then her canines begin to grow, quickly. It takes less than a second for them to be triple the size, almost down to her bottom lip. Her grin becomes an actual smile. Her eyes are still blank.

Takes me a second when there aren’t any…um…yeah, whatever, I’ll get the hang of it. Anyone comes up here they’ll run all the way back down the mountain screaming.

A few more seconds where Michelle retracts her teeth. When she is done, they look completely normal. She runs her tongue over them.

Still feels weird to have them out. Makes me talk funny, too. I’d say I’ll get used to them but since I don’t actually plan on using them I won’t really have to.

I came up here for a place to experiment. I’m going to try to get as many specific answers as I can. How fast can I run? How much can I lift? How far can I see? And of course some less concrete stuff, like how do I feel. I haven’t had any blood, and I think that’s the key. You can’t get addicted if you never start.

Michelle taps her temple.

I brought a bunch of stuff with me, weights and tape measures and notebooks and all, but if I need more there’s a town about ten miles away that has a Walmart. Of course it does. Find me a spot in America that doesn’t have a Walmart, and I’ll…

She trails off, giggling.

Yeah, sorry, I just feel fucking great. I have since I shook off the brain fog. It’s so hard to describe. It’s like…okay, that’s not going to work for a video journal, Michelle, think of something.

Okay, I know. It’s like having a migraine. A really bad one. Throbbing head, light hurts, sound hurts, stomach nauseous, you know, just, like, everything is bad.

And then it’s gone. Not that it gets better. But in a snap it’s gone. And everything feels…wonderful! You can see and hear clearly, you’re not in pain, you can move without wanting to throw up everywhere. It’s like that. Like everything is better. Like I was walking with weights on my ankles this whole time, and now they’re gone. Like I had bad lenses over my eyes and now they’re gone. I feel like, for the first time in my life, I can move the way I’m supposed to.

Yes, that’s it. That’s exactly it. Everything feels like it’s supposed to. I should have felt like this the whole time.

Also my chronic back pain and acid reflux are gone, which is really the cherry on top.

Michelle glances up over the camera and frowns.

Sun’s coming up. I always thought maybe vampires could sense where the sun was at all times but no dice. I think I can see the sunrise sooner than I could before, is all. Anyway, I’m going to sleep. Tonight, we start experimenting in earnest.

Michelle reaches for the side of the phone. Video ends.

Entry 7

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