Come with me on a journey of trying to crochet a granny-square blanket even though I barely know what I’m doing and the book I bought sucks based off the outfits Aloy wears in Horizon Zero Dawn which, I have to stress, is NOT the point of the game.
Visit the Index of Squares to see:
- Name of square
- Colors used
- How many were made
- Time dedicate
- Number of skeins used
Let’s meet some Carja and see why anyone would want to make the fire protection outfit stronger. (It’s fire bears)
There’s only thing to wear when you’re face to face with a fire bellowback: The Carja Blazon. An all-in-one outfit that you can wear during the day as you hunt machines and then for a night on the town. The Carja Blazon, for when you want to say, I don’t do two hundred crunches every day for my health, damn it.
The HZD Blanket Super fun update before we start – the twenty-dollar yarn winder I bought broke after about eight months of consistent use. Instead of getting neat little yarn cakes I’m getting crooked fat yarn blobs. I found good advice on what went wrong and how to fix it but I couldn’t make itContinue reading “The Horizon Zero Dawn Blanket: Banuk Sickness Eater, Werak Runner, and Song’s Edge”
The HZD Blanket Did you know there are only two escalators in the entire state of Wyoming? Did you know Wyoming is called the Equality State because it was the first state to allow women to vote, but they only did it so they could claim a big enough population to join the United StatesContinue reading “The Horizon Zero Dawn Blanket: Banuk Ice Hunter and Ice Hunter Master”
As I mentioned last time, Free Heap is run by Petra Forgewoman, so I wanted this square to both represent the settlement and her. While I want most of this section of the blanket to be simple designs in shades of brown and gray/silver, I wanted the settlement squares to pop a little, either with color or design. For Free Heap, I picked this square with the red circles in the middle to represent the forge. Surrounded, of course by brown and silver.
The HZD Blanket You know what would be great? A release date for Horizon Forbidden West so I could have a real deadline for this blanket. On the other hand, that would be terrible, because then I would have a real deadline for this blanket. Anyway, here’s my prediction: if we don’t get a releaseContinue reading “The Horizon Zero Dawn Blanket: Oseram Arrow Breaker”
Well, that took forever. Once again, not because the pattern was hard (spoiler: it wasn’t) but just because Life Stuff kept coming up. Life Stuff. Always interrupting my sitting around time. Anyway, this is the first of two patterns for a new tribe, so let’s meet…The Oseram!
There’s a lot of Nora villages, and a handful of important ones where Aloy can pick up quests, but their main village is Mother’s Heart so that’s the one I chose to represent with a square. Also so I could make this adorable pattern.
Y’all, I cannot express to you how happy I am with the way this square came out. Someone get the Happy Clichés off the high shelf and just let them unspool around the floor so I can swim around in them and throw them over my head and, just, like, make it rain happy clichés.
Apparently, when you remove naps and National Geographic from the equation, I get these squares done much faster.
On the one hand this took longer than I thought it would. On the other hand I knew this would happen. We took two weeks off for Christmas and New Years, which I had hoped would translate into doing one to two squares a day, but when it turned into totally ignoring the yarn while I fell asleep on the couch watching National Geographic documentaries on Disney+ I wasn’t, you know, surprised or anything.
Now that I’ve got this wild hair up my ass, it’s time for everyone’s favorite part of every project ever – planning!
2021: The Year I Crochet a Horizon Zero Dawn Themed Granny Square Afghan (Even Though I Don’t Really Know What I’m Doing)
I taught myself how to crochet a few years ago because I wanted to make something with my hands. Writing is all I’ve ever wanted to do, and it’s certainly an act of creation, but you can’t put a novel on a baby’s head. I guess you can. The reaction is going to be less ‘That’s adorable!’ and more ‘What is the matter with you?’ and ‘You’re ruining Christmas again,’ but you can still do it.
Get new content delivered directly to your inbox.