They landed their ship in some sort of field. The crop, according to their preparation materials, was called asphalt, and made for a steady landing. Apparently, the humans used this asphalt for the care and feeding of their primary motion animals, automobiles. It must have been very important, as it covered a great deal ofContinue reading “Translations and Synonyms”
Tag Archives: humor
Slow Burn
Ella turns around and sees Dean on the other side of the party, drinking a martini and talking to someone. He’s as handsome as ever, his brown hair brushed back and the physique of his arms trying to burst through his shirtsleeves and those eyes. Even from across the room she can see the wayContinue reading “Slow Burn”
The Moth
A moth walks into a podiatrist’s office. The podiatrist sits her down and asks, “So, what’s the trouble?” And the moth says, “Trouble, doc? Trouble. I’ve got so much trouble I don’t even know where to begin. I used to have a job I loved, but I quit to take care of my older brotherContinue reading “The Moth”
Your True Self
There once was a man who lived a good life. I mean, it was okay. Middle of the road. He had a family and he loved them. He had a job and he was indifferent about it. He had hobbies. He had just bought a new television. Things were mellow, things were fine. The manContinue reading “Your True Self”
Teenage Dystopian Love
They stepped out of the darkness, bleeding and bruised and Renna’s ribs were definitely broken, but alive. They were alive. “Guys,” Molly said, still breathing hard and leaning on Johnny. “We did it.” For a few seconds, Renna only stood there. The cliffs in front of her. The cave behind her. The sun, hot onContinue reading “Teenage Dystopian Love”
Anyways
Anyways, Spucky knew it was going to be a bad day when he woke up forty minutes before his alarm went off because there was some kind of super being or some shit standing at the foot of his bed. It was tall. And, uh, it had hair. Like, you know, long hair. For aContinue reading “Anyways”
The Adventures of… Dick Dangerly! The Newspaper Nerd
The elevator doors open and I fucking leap out, holding up my gun and the badge I cut out of the back of a comic book and pasted onto a piece of cardboard. “Nobody move! I’m Dick Dangerly! I’m a private eye, and I’ve got some questions!”
The Adventures of…Dick Dangerly! The Dame Blocking the Farmplace
I have finally made it to the San Francisco Chronicle. There’s a lot of newspaper offices in this city – which I’ve apparently lived in my entire life – and I had to crack the case of which one was the right one.
The Adventures of…Dick Dangerly! The Dame With the Thing on Her Face
I’m staring at the phone, trying to decide if it’s ringing or not, when a dame walks in. A leggy dame. Wearing pantyhose, meaning my letters to the mayor haven’t been reaching him.
The Adventures of…Dick Dangerly!
I’m sitting behind my desk with my legs up, trilby hat cocked on my head, the light is coming in from the blinds repeating black and white on my face. It makes me look dark and mysterious but is also destroying my sense of balance and I’m, like, ninety percent sure when I try to bring my legs down I’m just going to tip over.
High Urban Fantasy Jazz 