The Doom Movie Bitches Want (I’m Bitches)

Peter and I recently watched the 2005 movie Doom. We had heard it was bad. We guessed it would be that kind of ‘fun bad’ where the script is terrible but laughable and there would be awful CGI. Cheesefest – that’s what we thought we were tuning in to. It wasn’t a cheesefest. It wasn’tContinue reading “The Doom Movie Bitches Want (I’m Bitches)”

Hot Take: Movies Are Pretty Good, Actually

Fuck, I miss the movies. There seems to be this idea, among people who consider themselves casual movie watchers, that if someone says they are really into movies they must mean they watch sophisticated movies. Oscar nominations. Film festival indies. Black and white classics. Silent films. Like there’s an entire mahogany shelf in the middleContinue reading “Hot Take: Movies Are Pretty Good, Actually”

Wanda’s AU Fanfic

Spoilers for the first four episodes of WandaVision. Proceed past the Spoiler Chocobo at your own risk. Listen, I have had a first class ticket to the MCU hype train since The Avengers. The only one of these things I haven’t seen in theaters is Iron Man 2, and I guess that Hulk movie fromContinue reading “Wanda’s AU Fanfic”

Evil Cosmic Entity Dressed as a Clown of the Morning

I’m ninety-eight percent sure everybody involved in this movie was high as balls the entire time. It Chapter Two is complete chaos. The director, Andy “What Are Frogs” Muschietti, has stated that he doesn’t want the second movie to be seen as a sequel, but rather the second half of a complete movie, like KillContinue reading “Evil Cosmic Entity Dressed as a Clown of the Morning”

Hereditary Might Have Done Permanent Damage

Fuck, I miss going to the movies. My husband and I love horror movies. It’s actually how we started dating. It Follows had come out and neither of us knew anyone else who wanted to see it, so we went together. It turned out to be the best movie to see on a first date,Continue reading “Hereditary Might Have Done Permanent Damage”

My Favorite Disney Remake

There isn’t anything left to be said about this new Mulan remake, and I haven’t even seen it. I pretty much checked out of the whole thing early on, once news came that they were stripping this new version of both “I’ll Make a Man Out of You,” one of the greatest Disney musical numbersContinue reading “My Favorite Disney Remake”

Crowd in a Theater Watching Snakes on a Plane

God, I miss going to the movies. Do you remember Snakes on a Plane? Jesus, what a weird one that one was. And I’m not even talking about the movie itself, just how it came out. The movie was exactly as advertised. There was a plane full of people, but that plane was also fullContinue reading “Crowd in a Theater Watching Snakes on a Plane”

Will Smith and Aliens

In case you weren’t there, we as a culture were obsessed with aliens in the nineties. I don’t know how it happened, but I suspect it started with those douchebags in England who started laying down ‘crop circles’ with ropes and boards and then countless TV specials like Unsolved Mysteries and whatever the History ChannelContinue reading “Will Smith and Aliens”